What with all the technology on board boats expanding at a
colossal rate, it made sense to me this month to have a little bit of a sticky beak at what’s futuristic, new and cosmic in the galley.
It seems that the wondrous internet has insidiously entered the
kitchen space and these days there is everything from an app to turn on your coffee machine, a fridge that sends you shopping lists, to a pan that monitors heat on your iPhone enabling you to cook the perfect steak. Bloody fabulous kitchen porn at it’s very best…………
But, there are those gadget whores, yes, we all know one, that person who has a truckload of doodads, most of which are more of an inconvenience than a convenience. Paying exorbitant amounts of cash for a gadget simply to replace the burden of thinking about simple chores, or shock, horror, common sense. Take the Chef n’ Bananza Banana slicer, whilst there is no doubting it’s replaceability of the knife, isn’t it just simply a threat towards the phallus? The crew love bananas, but whip one of these bad boys out during morning coffee and watch your manly crew members pale and shuffle quietly out of the room. Others, such as Spun are quite inventive and certainly not a aimless gadget, this high tech utensil cruelly monitors calories as you eat and offers you either spoon or fork options. Unfairly using face recognition software, the corresponding app determines what you are eating once you’ve taken your app picture then when it judges you have reached the calorific threshold it lights up and
yells at you – ¨Oi! Stop stuffing your face, you fat bastard!!! ¨
Stewies, you unsung heroes, hard workers that you are, here’s a lady boner for you….. 3D printers are coming for your cup of coffee – say good bye to the barista echelon and hello to the
computerisation of latte art………The Ripple Maker is able to print photos and selfies onto the top of your cappuccino. The logo of your boat, your bum, bananas or even the boss’s wife can feature, just don’t mix them up.
The Sous vide, or Sue Veed as I fondly refer to it has been around a for yonks, this amazing machine uses temperatures much lower that for conventional cooking resulting in a more delicious and succulent dish. The tech nerds have dragged ol sue veed out of the 1960’s and given her a very much needed make over. Gone are the massive old ladies with their bath like proportions and say hello to the Anova Precision Cooker WIFI. This sleek little looker just needs a water filled pot to slide into and will patiently wait while you put your ingredients into a zip lock bag and pop into the pot. What is even more amazing is you can hit the market, nightclub or even Ibiza and still have control. Download the app on your smartphone and all you need is wifi to start your cooking. Which is just as well
as some of the recipes can take from 4 hours to a few days which is what you will probably need it you are partying in San Antonio.
The sous vide is such a simple method of cooking producing first rate restaurant cuisine, but basically a jacuzzi for your grub. Meat done to perfection only needing to be quickly seared for the ultimate exquisiteness.
Sous Vide Rack of Lamb with Honey, Mustard Dressing
2 racks of lamb weighing roughly 1 kg
Sea salt and freshly ground pepper
Small bunch of thyme, sliced spring onions, 2 cloves of finely sliced garlic
2 tablespoons sunflower oil
30g unsalted butter
Honey Mustard Dressing
2 teaspoons wholegrain mustard
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
3 tablespoons honey
First of all Preheat your Precision cooker depending on how you like your lamb but roughly 54.4C. This is just a guide and as sous vide machines differ, I reckon it’s a good idea to check the manual. Allow the water bath to come up to the correct temperature before adding your lamb.
Generously season the lamb racks with salt and pepper on all sides making sure you rub the seasoning in well. Pop the racks into a zip lock bag or by using a vacuum sealer using the water displacement method, which is to seal the zipper almost all of the way, leaving a few centimetres open.
Then, slowly lower the bag of lamb into the water letting the pressure of the water press the air out through the top of the bag, using your fingers to help the air out. Once all the air is out, carefully seal the bag just above the waterline using your fingers to help the air out. Drop the bag in the water bath and cook.
If properly sealed, the lamb should sink. Cook for 1 hour.
Remove the lamb from the bag and place it on a paper towel-lined plate. Pat it dry very carefully on both sides. Lamb cooked sous vide will not have any browning on its surface, so to improve the flavour and texture you need to sear the hell out of the outside.
Using a heavy cast iron frying pan on the stovetop makes this easy. Turn the hobs on to hot, hot, hot, warn the engineers and get those extractor fans going full blast. Splash a bit of the oil in the frying pan and pop it on the heat until it starts smoking.
Quickly add the lamb, fat side up and let that little mother sizzle. Try not to overcrowd the pan as this will reduce the overall temperature and you’ll end up with a grey mess.
Add a tablespoon of butter, swirling the pan to let it melt and add the thyme, spring onions and garlic.
Continuously move the lamb around to ensure that it’s evenly
seared. All the while basting the lamb with the flavoured butter by tilting the frying pan towards you and spooning the collected fat on top of the lamb using a large spoon.
As soon as the first side is well browned (this should take less than a minute), flip the lamb and brown the second side using the same technique, then leave to rest for 10 minutes. Holding onto a bone, carve the chops and serve on a bed of garlic mash with the sauce drizzled over, stand back and wait for the applause.
Honey Mustard Dressing
Whisk all the ingredients together.
Sous Vide Salmon Fillets with Creamy Chive Dressing
4 x 170grams salmon fillets (skin on)
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
8 cups ice water
12 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 cups creme fraiche
1 cup chopped fresh chives
Zest and juice of 2 lemons
Set the Anova Sous Vide Precision Cooker to 125ºF (52ºC) for
medium-rare or 135ºF (57ºC) for medium.
Make a brine by whisking 125 grams salt into the ice water until
dissolved. Chuck your salmon in and pop in the fridge for an
hour. Add the salmon and refrigerate for 30 minutes, or up to
Remove the salmon fillets from the brine and rinse with cold water.
Pat dry and place each filet in a separate zipper lock or vacuum
seal bag with 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Seal the bags using the
water immersion technique as mentioned in the lamb recipe above. Place the salmon in it’s bath and set the timer for 20 minutes, or up to 50 minutes.
Meanwhile, prepare the lemon-dill creme fraiche: In a medium bowl, stir together the creme fraiche, dill, lemon zest, and lemon juice.
Season to taste with salt and pepper.
When the timer goes off, remove the bags from the water bath.
Carefully remove the salmon and pat very dry with paper towels. Heat remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the salmon skin-side down and sear until skin is crisp, about 1 minute. Transfer to a plate. Serve with lemon dill creme fraiche.
Lastly and interestingly enough, drones are also arriving in the food culture with restaurants utilising drones to deliver drinks to the tables and taking out rubbish. But, I think it might take a few years to iron out any potential problems. As would the dildo drone apparently a must have for the multi tasking masturbators that is seemly penetrating the internet. The drone is hands free allowing users to simultaneously indulging in other activities like making coffee, slicing bananas or using a sous vide????